Broken Ice
by Laurawrz
Summary: Laura Leigh Evans. A girl that is destined to face many challenges and obsticales in her life. It is her own personal battle to fight for what is right; to one day be free. But at what cost? And ultimately, which side will she choose..
1. Preface

The scream was ear piercing, deafening, even to her and she had heard countless screams in her existence. She sought pleasure in the agonising sounds she managed to pull from lips of innocents in her vampiric life, the noise only urging her to continue, to toy with her meals. The memories from her human self weren't so clear, like a hazy fog clouded the pictures and sounds. Those screams did not bring any type of pleasure, but they didn't come close to comparing to the one she heard now as she looked down at the fragile, still body that lay like a little angel on the forest floor. The tiny heartbeat that once pattered with life could no longer be heard; the dimpled cheeks that once flushed pink were now pale; the soft, musical chime of her voice would never grace the atmosphere again. The wind whipped around her as if the elements were recognising such a tragic, cruel loss. But it was more than a loss; the girl had been snatched from this life by the hands of another and it was all her fault. She couldn't concentrate on anything else, only the unmoving little girl. It was then that Laura realised the screams weren't coming from anyone else; they were retching from her own throat. She sank to her knees beside the body, her eyes itching for the tears that would never come as dry sobs racked her body, dispelling the screams. She wanted to cling on to denial, to disbelief; however, this was all the evidence she needed and it couldn't be disputed. Laura moved her pale, shaking hand to the girl's cheek, running the back of her fingers along the surface before she pushed the brunette curls from out of her face. It was an action she was used to doing, a day not going by where she hadn't tucked the bouncing curls behind the child's ear so her beautiful deep blue eyes could not be hidden. Laura felt her stone cold heart sink to the depths of her stomach as she choked on the sobs that she was sure would never end. The girl didn't deserve this; she was perfect in every way, so bright, so clever, so full of life. Another scream escaped her throat, echoing in the wooded area that enveloped them, as the realisation consumed her that there was no going back, that it was too late.

Her daughter was dead.


	2. You can always count on the rain

You can always count on the rain.

Chapter One.

London, 1949.

England had transitioned in its recovery from the war, though times for many families were still a struggle. One thing remained the same throughout the whole time. The rain. It was a constant reminder that life continued, regardless of destruction, peace, poverty, wealth, love..

Love.

It was a word she had heard of, but had not really known the meaning to, but what 9 year old truly did? That's what she comforted herself with through the dark hours of the night, in the drafty room that she shared with her younger sister, Paige, and their younger brother, Lucas. She would recollect the images of school friends being waved off through the gates by their mothers, the echoed farewells of 'Have a good day, I love you' ringing in her ears. Their mother never walked them to school, let alone show them any kind of affection. The only affection she had these days was for alcohol, always the same clear bottle, with the smell that could tear away and burn at the skin inside your nostrils, that she tried to disguise up until more recently. Her mother had been beautiful. Laura could remember watching her do her hair up in tight curls that she pinned in place before she would smear red lip stick over her lips. Her perfect complexion accented her blonde hair and blue eyes. As a very young child, Laura believed that her mother was the most beautiful woman on earth that no movie star or singer could compare to. That belief soon vanished. Now her eyes were sunken into the deep crevasses that held her dulling, lifeless eyes, surrounded by black shadows; her skin was patchy and drying; her stunning curved physique slipped away into nothingness as her bones became an obvious, gaunt feature.

Their father was an American soldier that had come over to England during the Second World War, though Laura was never completely sure she shared the same lineage as her younger siblings. Her skin was slightly olived; her sleek brunette curls hung half way down her back; her eyes a deep shade of chocolate brown. Paige and Lucas both has bright blonde hair; Pale, milky complexions; the exact same eyes as their mother. But Laura never voiced this out loud. The only comforts in her younger years were her siblings; it didn't matter to her whether they were completely tied to her biologically or not. The three of them shared an unbreakable bond that was visible to see by all that knew them, even those that didn't. Their father, Nathaniel Evans, left as soon as the war was over, uncaring to the family he had helped to create, leaving without a backwards glance, not even much of a Good Bye was muttered. Their mother, Jennifer, was distraught. She begged him to stay, pleaded with him to change his mind or allow her to go with him; but it was to no avail. The day he chose to leave was Laura's 5th birthday. Paige was 3 and a half, Lucas only a few months. There were no celebrations that day. In fact, Laura never celebrated a birthday again.

Jennifer sunk into a deep depression. She lost her job at the local market as she would simply not turn up, or when she did she would have the stench of alcohol sewn into her pores, the sickly sweet aroma couldn't be disguised. The children became an inconvenience to her, a reminder of what she had lost and she liked to remind them of this fact. The beatings began on the Christmas Eve, the first one after her father had left. There were no decorations in their house, no tree stood in the corner gleaming in baubles and tinsel, no fire crackled and hissed warming up the house to shelter them from the thick blizzard of snow outside, no laughter or music graced the atmosphere, no glass of sherry and a carrot awaited Santa and Rudolph. It was bleak and drab and grey and cold. It was a big responsibility, but she had taken over the care of Lucas and Paige since their mother's depression had set in. Jennifer largely ignored them, didn't bother to feed them or bathe them or wash their clothes or tuck them into bed at night. Laura simply couldn't stand back and watch them go hungry, let them go out with dirt on their faces or listen to their sobs without comforting them. It made her grow up, and fast. Something a 5 year old should not have to do, but what other choice did she have? That Christmas Eve, she was lay in bed, hugging her sister to keep her warm as the cold icy winds seeped through the cracks in the window frame. Laura had given Lucas his night time bottle of milk that she had stolen from a neighbour's doorstep early that morning and sang him to sleep with a soft song by a lady named Doris Day that she had heard crackle through the second hand radio in her kitchen on more than one occasion, the words staying with her, though she wasn't sure why. Such mature words being sung by such a young girl. Her siblings had never heard a lullaby, they had never had their mother sing them to sleep, her soft voice soothing them, comforting them until they drifted off into the land where peaceful dreams awaited them. She thought she remembered one lullaby about sunshine, another about a bird; but her memories were not advanced so much as to recall these when her brother and sister needed encouragement to sleep, so the lady from the radio it was.

Again, this couldn't happen again,

This is that once in a lifetime,

This is the thrill divine.

What's more, this never happened before,

Though I have prayed for a lifetime,

That such as you would suddenly be mine.

Mine to hold as I'm holding you now and yet never so near,

Mine to have when the now and the here disappear,

What matters, dear, for when this doesn't happen again.

We'll have this moment forever, but never, never again.

We'll have this moment for ever, but never, never again.

She hummed the tune to herself as she tried to sleep, but her own Hushabye Mountain did not seem to be nearing. She slipped out of bed, a shiver running over her goose pimpled skin as she left the warmth of the blankets. She gently tucked them around Paige before going to sit in the large window that overlooked the city that was blanketed in a thick layer of snow, the moon offering her a little vision as she pulled out a piece of paper and a blunt pencil from the box where they kept their school necessities. She heard her mother moving about downstairs, soft cries tracing their way through the floorboards from below and her little heart ached. She wanted to make her Mom smile, wanted her to have a good Christmas. She folded the blank piece of paper in half and began to draw as best as her 5 year old self could with an unsharpened pencil and dull lighting. She sketched the lines of a snowman that she surrounded with little dots to represent the falling snow. She opened the paper and scrawled in her neatest writing, '_To Mom, Mery Krismas, We love you x'. _Her lips twitched into a rare smile as she closed the paper, feeling a little proud of herself, before she crept down the creaky staircase to the living room. She paused in the doorway as she observed her mother take a swig of clear substance from a dirty glass, tears staining her cheeks as she stared absent mindedly at the un-burning fireplace. "Mom?" Laura whispered as she moved into the room, her long white nightie trailing on the floor behind her as she made her way to her mother's side. Jennifer blinked, but didn't turn to look at her daughter or question why she was out of bed at this hour of the night. Laura placed the card she had made onto her mother's lap and smiled a smile that would make most moms' hearts melt with its pureness and innocence. Jennifer's expression remained blank as she looked down at the card, opening it with her free hand and read over the words that Laura had tried her best with. Laura's smile widened into a grin as she looked at her handy work, pleased with her efforts, but quickly faded as she looked up to see her mother's reaction. Jennifer's face twisted into a look of agony before it changed to what could only be described as anger. Laura flinched and automatically took a step backwards as the glass smashed into the fireplace, the liquid splashing across the brickwork as the shards of glass splintered the floor. She hadn't even realised her mother was now on her feet, tearing up the paper viciously, a glazed film seeming to coat the beautiful blue eyes that no longer glistened with happiness, that no longer seemed like her mother's.

All Laura received that Christmas was bruises and tears, though she was thankful that her siblings didn't receive the first. That was the first of many beatings Laura took through her childhood, for no apparent reason that she knew of, but still blamed herself, thought she was naughty or not a good enough daughter for her mother. She managed to shelter Paige and Lucas through most of the attacks, blocking her mother's way if she tried to get to them, taking the abuse herself rather than see them hurt. But they still witnessed such events, it still frightened them, gave them nightmares, all of which Laura comforted them through and made sure they were okay. Paige would always know how to make Laura smile and would simply run up and hug her if Laura ever allowed a frown to crease her lips. Lucas, however, withdrew into himself. He was affectionate to his sisters, but never spoke a word. When he was old enough for school, the teachers tried everything to make him open up and included him in playtime and exercises, but never did a word pass his lips. In the end, they just accepted him as a mute and worked with him the best they could.

The patters of the rain on the window pane became more urgent, distracting Laura from her thoughts. She pressed her eyes tightly together and a lone tear drop fell over her skin onto the pillowcase. Just another night without sleep, the bruises to her little body creased her into discomfort and pain, not allowing her to find any kind of sanctuary in her dreams. She pushed herself to sit upright in the bed where her sister lay beside her, her brother curled into a tight ball by their feet, both still sleeping soundly. She tucked the sparse blanket around them where it had been kicked off as they tossed and turned throughout the night, when Laura had been lost in a maze of her own thoughts. She slid out of bed and made her way over to the window sill, just like she had all those years ago, just like she did most nights when she couldn't sleep. She climbed on to the ledge, pulling her knees up to her chest before wiping away another solitary tear that escaped the confines of her eye, wincing as she slid her hand over the deep purple bruise that surrounded it. She laid her cheek against her knees as she looked out of the window through the raindrops that stained the glass, the first signs of sunlight breaking through the grey clouds, lining them in a shade of silver. Something her personal clouds were missing. A drawn out sigh passed her pouted lips, clouding her view for a moment as her breath misted up the glass and she whispered to herself. "Happy Birthday, Laura."


	3. Shun the Bleak

Shun the Bleak.

Chapter Two.

Sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. A child can't be a child without an element of fun and Laura couldn't stand the thought that Lucas and Paige would miss the opportunity to experience what other kids did, what she had largely missed out on herself. She knew it wouldn't be the same; there would be no adult eyes watching over them making sure they were safe; there would be no blanket of security to wrap themselves up in; there would be no reassurance or encouragement. But they had never had that before from an adult so that wasn't going to stop them now. Nothing was.

Laura sought out every possible opportunity for her siblings to have some form of playtime, away from their mothers disapproving glare. She would take them to the park on the way home from school that was on the outskirts of their estate; the tinkering laughter of Paige like music to her ears as she scurried about like the little miss independent that was otherwise reigned in. The odd chuckle would come from Lucas as they played Tag or as they spun each other on the roundabout or as they challenged one another to see who could swing the highest before leaping free of the apparatus onto the grass below. But he still never uttered a word. The laughter of the children in the playground entwined together into a melody that was an unusual sound to Laura, gracing her ears in a peaceful manner. She sat on the grass as the sun beat down relentlessly. She leant back on the palms of her hands and let her head fall back, her eyes flickering closed, drinking in the rays that warmed her skin and sighed a relaxed breath as she allowed nothing to enter her mind about her mother, about their life at home. She lived in the now, in this moment; these were the times she craved, when nothing else mattered but that they were together. They didn't have to hide, or be quiet, or watch their every step. It was times like these they were free. She felt a movement beside her and she tilted her head in that direction, her lids opening so that her chocolate eyes could fall upon her brother, who had come to sit beside her. He crossed his legs Indian style and picked a blade of grass, weaving it through his little chubby fingers and leant into Laura. She sat up straighter and positioned herself so her legs lay on the grass either side of him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a little reassuring squeeze before she rested her chin on to the cushion of his thick tousled blonde hair.

"You okay, Lukey?" She asked quietly; not that anyone else was in ear shot, nor would they be paying attention to them, too busy playing on the aging apparatus to notice. He nodded enthusiastically in response to her question and tilted his head back, a rare, cheeky grin dancing across his features, going all the way to his eyes. It made her smile automatically, a small giggle leaving her lips as she kissed his forehead. This is what she took all the crap for. Just to see his pale face, tinted with the flush of the excitement and the sunshine; for it to burst into happiness like this made everything else seem so insignificant. "Do you wanna play some more?" She asked him as he reached for another blade of grass, knotting it with the other. He shook his head, though happiness still painted his features as he sat with her, content with just being there.

She had gotten used to Lucas not talking; had learnt to read his expressions and mannerisms. They hadn't had a choice; he still refused to speak and Laura was unsure if he was actually able to. She would have been convinced that he didn't have a voice box, except for the little chuckles that he permitted to give the volume to now and again to deny this theory. Laura stood up, ruffling her brother's hair as she looked over to the road. She felt his eyes tilt up to look at her, his brow furrowing. Laura bit at her bottom lip and sighed through her nose as she held her hand out for him. "It's time to go Lukey.." She spoke in an almost apologetic tone as his smile faded, his features returning to his usual blank expressions, like he was a robot; not speaking, not trying to do anything that would draw attention to himself. He took Laura's hand and she pulled him to stand up next to her. Lucas wrapped his arms around his sisters small waist and Laura rubbed his back as her other arm held him to her tightly, whispering into his hair "I know." She felt responsible for him feeling like this, not wanting to withdraw back to the lifeless home.

She glanced over to Paige who was giggling with a random girl as they rode up and down on the see saw that was made from a plank of wood and a milk crate. She was such a pretty girl, full of life. She loved adventures and the great outdoors, and Laura tried to make it possible for her to get her fill of these. When they weren't holed up in their bedroom at least. She stepped back a little and took Lucas' hand in hers, swinging it between them in attempt to regain some of his cheery mood, as they walked towards the pavement; though she knew it was lost once more now they were returning to the home that was far from being their sanctuary. "Come on, Pea." She sang, as Paige looked over to them, pouting a pout she had learnt from her big sister and batted her golden eye lashes. Laura smirked through her nose as a smile tugged at her lips, remembering a time they had 'borrowed' their mother's lipstick and sat in front of the mirror as they smeared the crimson paste over their lips; their tiny pouts made each other laugh, as did the marks they left on the others cheeks when they kissed one another with a 'mwah'ing sound. "Aww now, don't give me that look. We _have_ to go." Laura's tone though soft, still gave across the insistence, the need that they had to leave. "But, Lalee, can we just have five more minutes? Pretty please, with sugar on top.." Paige's voice became pleading. She loved it here; it was like a different world; one that they could be themselves in. Laura shook her head as they continued to walk, hearing a dramatic sigh from her sister as she mumbled her goodbyes before her footfalls scurried to catch up with them.

"Now remember, when we get home, go straight upstairs, okay? I'll bring you up some dinner, but you both need to do your homework." They both nodded in response to her request. It wasn't the first time she had asked such a thing from them; it was more like an unwritten rule. It was safer that way. They reached their house, in the middle of the terraced street; children lined the road, playing with skipping ropes and balls, as they would be until they were called in for their baths or their dinner by their parents, some of whom sat on their doorsteps, cup of tea in hand as they chatted and gossiped amongst themselves. A few stray glances and whisperings were aimed in their direction, but Laura ignored it mostly; there really was no point in bringing more trouble, more attention. Laura let go of Lucas' hand, though he was less keen to do so, as she twisted the door knob, turning to look over her shoulder, catching her siblings looking at each other with the same worried, anxious gaze. Laura painted a convincing smile on her lips, something she had practiced and perfected over the years, though she was under no illusion that they didn't buy it. "It's fine, now go." She whispered, allowing them to pass through the space between herself and the door frame so they could scurry up the stairs, like two little mice, attempting to avoid the ones that steps that creaked. She closed the front door quietly before she blew Lucas a kiss; he had paused half way up the stairs to turn and look back down at his eldest sister, pain creasing his features that simply tore at her heart. But there was no other way; she would pay for the time she insisted on gaining for her siblings. "Lukes, hurry up!" Paige hissed from the landing, and he tore his gaze away from Laura to retreat to their bedroom.

Laura leaned her back against the front door, breathing in before exhaling a long breath. There was no point in delaying the inevitable and there was no point in trying to pretend that this wouldn't happen. It was like Groundhog Day, except the story wasn't in the same category. A screeching, scraping noise came from the kitchen as a chair was pushed back, footsteps moving along the floor, stopping at the pantry. Laura swallowed the lump that always formed before she walked to face her 'punishment'; after all, it was her fault for making them late.

The kitchen was mostly immaculate; it was one of Laura's tasks to ensure the house was clean, just in case they ever received any visitors; though the only ones they had were some of her mother's drinking buddies. It wasn't like when they were toddlers, not that the memories were very clear. But she was sure she could recall a time when other little girls and boys came round to play, their mothers chattering away around the kitchen table as they basked in adoration for their children and discussed the latest gossip from the street. Jennifer didn't realise she was there to begin with, being too busy refilling her glass. The sharp aroma of gin polluted the air as Laura stepped further into the kitchen, heading towards the cupboard to begin preparing whatever she could find for dinner. The noise alerted Jennifer to her presence and she spun around, fixing her glare on her daughter; her face twisted in a mixture of annoyance and anger. Laura was sure that hatred was in with that mix too; how could it not be when it was her fault their father had left them? Her mother liked to remind her about that fact and Laura had stopped racking her brains as to what she had done to make him leave long ago. There was no point in looking for an answer she wouldn't be able to find. Like her punishments, she just had to accept it.

Jennifer, glass in hand, moved to stand in front of Laura. The sound of the slap echoed around the small kitchen as Jennifer's hand impacted on Laura's cheek that immediately glowed red. "I'm sorry Mum." She whispered, leaving her head turned to one side as she closed her eyes. Waiting.

Always waiting.

Jennifer bent down, grabbing Laura's jaw in her hand, forcing her to look at her as she reached behind her to place her glass on the side board. The smell of alcohol on her mother's breath was a constant, though it never failed to make Laura feel ill. "I can't hear you" Jennifer spat, her voice distorted, uncaring. "I'm sorry, Mum" Laura repeated a little louder as best she could with the pressure that was being applied to her jaw. Jennifer's free hand now reached behind Laura, twisting her fingers through her shoulder length hair, that was much shorter than it once was after her mother had spitefully hacked at it with a pair of scissors a couple of weeks previously, calling her a whore; an 11 year old girl, innocent in so many ways, but matured in ways she shouldn't have to be; yet she was degraded by her very own flesh and blood; a woman that should have been her protector, not her persecutor. The impact from her head being slammed into the side board was immense. Blood immediately streamed through the gash in her forehead and she was only able to remain standing due to her mother's relentless grip on her hair. "That's better." Jennifer spoke, her cackling laughter piercing the small space between them before she repeated her previous action. This time however, Jennifer released her grip and Laura fell to the stone cold floor. She held her head in her hands, not necessarily trying to stop the bleeding, but trying to breathe through the pain that coupled with dizziness. Jennifer's foot collided with her daughter's chest purposely as she stepped over the broken body of her eldest. Laura wheezed as the air was knocked from her lungs that felt as if they were on fire. Her breaths became shorter and deeper as she attempted to regain herself. Tears stung at her eyes as she tried to fight them, but they always escaped her, leaving warm, salty trails over her cheeks. Jennifer snatched up her glass off the side and bought it to her lips to take a long swig of the clear poison. Laura remained laying on the floor as she got her breathing back under control, wincing slightly as her palm pressed against the cuts to her forehead. Her hands stained with her own blood that had pooled and spotted beneath her.

It felt like hours, though it had only been minutes when her mother next spoke; her tone as emotionless and dry as usual. "Clean up your mess and get out of my sight."

No matter how disorientated she felt, no matter how much pain she was in, Laura knew there was no hanging around when her mother made such a request. She pulled herself up to a sitting position before holding onto the kitchen drawers to steady herself as she got to her feet. She heaved as a wave of nausea rose up to her throat, though she managed to contain herself somehow. She reached for a jay cloth and moistened it a little before falling to her knees. She wiped up the blood, her blood, from the floor, making sure there was no trace of this left before she glanced up at her mother. She had her back to Laura, making her way back to the pantry. She had to move fast and hoped she wouldn't pass out in the process. She pulled herself back up once more and, after stealing another glance in her mother's direction to see that her back was still turned, snatched two pieces of bread from the loaf that had already been sliced. It was beginning to go stale, but it was better than nothing. Laura tucked the bread into her shirt and swiftly made her way up to the bedroom.

She paused outside the door to wipe her forehead with the jay cloth she realised she still held. The bleeding had slowed, but she could feel a lump had already formed beneath her touch. Laura entered the room quietly, closing the door gently behind her. Paige and Lucas looked up from the floor where they were sat doing their spellings, their faces seeming more pained than what she felt. She shook her head as her automatic 'Don't worry, I'm fine' smile appeared and she moved over to them, pulling the bread from under her shirt, handing a piece to each of them. Lucas shook his head stubbornly and Paige raised her eyebrow. "I'm sorry.. It's all I could get tonight." Laura apologised, hanging her head as she twisted the blooded cloth in her hands, only looking up when she heard her sister smirk. "No Lalee. We meant where's yours?" Her low, sincere tone made Laura's smile become more real as she made her way over to the bed that they shared, climbing into it and curling herself into a ball. "I'm not hungry, Pea. Do you need help with your spellings?" She asked them as her eyes flickered shut, blocking out the small amount of light that made her head pound more. There was no reply from her siblings, not that she heard anyhow. Lucas got up, leaving his work and bread on the floor and crawled, sniffling into the bed in front of her; placing a delicate kiss to the blood smeared cut on her forehead before snuggling into her. She wrapped her arms around him at the same time she felt her sister lay behind her, draping her arm over them both. "I love you two." She whispered before she began to hum the familiar tune of Doris Day until her consciousness left her.


	4. A change in the wind

A Change in the Wind.

Chapter Three. 

"Laura Evans. Laura Evans?"  
The register was being called and Laura was sat slumped in her usual seat in the classroom, at the back corner by the window. She hadn't meant to fall asleep; but a restful sleep never sought her out and dozing off in class seemed to become a more regular occurrence of late. The ruler slammed down sharply onto her single wooden desk, causing her to bolt upright. Her eyes were wide with confusion until realisation tainted them, remembering she was at school and behaviour such as falling asleep in class was frowned upon. She looked down, not wanting to meet Miss Wright's glare that she could feel burning into her; not wanting to see if it was filled with concern or anger. "Come and see me after school, Laura." Miss Wright spoke monotonely as she returned to the front of the classroom where she continued to call the register.

Laura rubbed her eyes with her thumb and index finger, blinking a few times as she adjusted to the light. She wanted to argue the request with her teacher as she always met Paige at the front gates before walking around to the Primary School to pick Lucas up. She sighed quietly, kicking herself for getting caught, for falling asleep in the first place; but it was too late for all that now.

The morning passed slowly in a mixture of poetry by Keats to the basics of religion; none of which held her interest. She always had something else on her mind; there was always something more important to be thinking about. But none of these thoughts should have been concerning her at 14. She should have been going to see the latest movie with her friends, giggling over boys that paid her attention, which they did. For a young girl, Laura was beautiful. She had no need for make-up that others of her age stole from their mothers to give them a more flawless look. Laura's skin was naturally smooth and defined; her curves perfectly accented her body, making her appear older than her years; her hair had grown into thick waved curls that fell half way down her back. Many girls ignored Laura, jealous of her appearance, but that didn't faze her. She didn't need friends after all. Of course she had a couple of friends, but she chose them for their loyalty and knowledge rather than their looks and social status.

The school secretary moved through the hallways ringing the large brass bell that signalled that it was time for lunch. Laura stood and placed her books away in her desk before making her way to the dinner hall. She scanned the lines and rows of tables for signs of Paige, but she couldn't seem to place her. She sighed in frustration and joined the queue with one of her friends, Carrie. She was a petite girl that was a little plump around the edges, but had the most dazzling blonde hair. Carrie was fairly mild mannered, fantastic at English and Mathematics and seemed to be another lost soul here. Laura couldn't quite remember how they had come to be friends; some people just seemed to gravitate towards one another, she guessed.

"Hello Laura." Carrie said cheerfully, snapping her back to reality from her trail of thoughts. "I thought I'd lost you for a sec there! Everything okay?" Carrie's rose flushed face held an edge of concern as she followed Laura's gaze around the dinner hall.  
"I'm okay Caz; I'm just looking for Paige. You seen her?"

Carrie shook her head as she bought her attention back to Laura. "No, not since this morning. Don't fret, she'll be here."

Laura nodded absent mindedly and forced her lips to tug into a smile; a smile that she had learnt and perfected over the years so that however un-genuine it was, that wasn't how it came across. Lunch passed slowly. This was a chance for her to actually have a meal and ensured she got at least some nourishment once a day, five times a week. She hurried out to the playground after discarding her cutlery in the designated area, but Paige was nowhere to be seen. Laura sighed in annoyance as she headed towards the wooded area that surrounded the far edge of the playground. An area that was off limits to the pupils, though she knew that Paige often disregarded such rules. She was such a wanderer, a free spirit. Laura often wondered if Paige would ever settle in one place when she grew up, but she always came to the same conclusion. Not possible.

Carrie stayed on watch as Laura scurried into the thick mass of trees, almost immediately running into a couple of kids that looked like they were eating each other's faces. "Ugh. Move." Laura huffed, pushing them to one side as she made her way deeper into the green. Her skirt snagged on a haggard grouping of twigs emitting from the overgrown pathway. She would be having words with her sister for this. The light became restricted as the leaves grouped together in a canopy above and Laura was not prepared to go any further; especially after the skirt incident and for the fact that her shoes were now caked in mud. She peeked from behind a large oak trunk that dominated the tree line to make sure that the dinner ladies were not eyeing that area, before slipping back into the yard besides Carrie. She shook her head as she mumbled a 'Thanks' to her friend, just in time for the bell that signalled it was time for them to queue up to re-enter the school for the latter part of the day. "Where is she.." Laura seethed to herself as she scanned Paige's class line, not finding what she was looking for. She felt a poke in her back as someone tried to hurry her along. Laura whipped her head around to meet the smirk of Elizabeth Smith; polished and perfected in the most unreal of ways. Laura glared at her, holding eye contact for what seemed like an age, until Elizabeth's cockiness subsided. "Just as I thought." Laura shook her head and turned to strut back into line with her class who had already ascended the concrete steps.

Laura watched as everyone left the classroom, her foot tapping restlessly underneath the desk as her annoyance had converted to concern about her sister and she worried about what Lucas would do when they weren't there to meet him on time. Miss Wright seemed to take her time organising the random papers that littered her desk, causing Laura to sigh dramatically. Miss Wright paused and glanced up at her pupil before shuffling the papers into a somewhat neat pile and making her way to the back of the room. Her actions seemed slow and deliberate and even though Laura sort of liked her teacher, right now she was doing nothing more that irking her. Miss Wright turned a chair around to sit in front of Laura; elegantly crossing her ankles and tucking them beneath her seat.

"I'm sorry about before Miss, but I really need to go." Laura pleaded on the edge of her seat, looking towards the door. Her brow furrowed as she saw Paige's face poking around the doorway, mouthing 'Hurry up!' Laura threw her a dirty look and turned back to her teacher, her eyes filled with urgency. But Miss Wright seemed to be working her way up to something, not taking note of Laura's request.

"Laura.. Is there something.. Well, is there anything you would like to talk to me about?"

"No Miss, I just need to go."

"Laura. Please, just one moment. I've noticed this isn't the first time you have fell asleep during class, and until now I have let things slide somewhat. But if there is a reason, any reason at all, as to why this keep occurring, you can tell me. Maybe I could help.." Miss Wright's voice was etched with concern rather than intrigue and Laura respected that, but couldn't prevent the laughter that spilled from her lips. How on earth could this woman help? No one could. She realised that the laughter was taken offensively as Miss Wright's face hardened and she sat up straighter in the small chair. Laura placed a hand over her mouth as she coughed and shook her head. "No Miss, everything is fine. I just have trouble sleeping is all." It wasn't exactly a lie; she had just left out the reasoning behind her statement. Added to the fact that she could never actually voice out loud that their mother didn't care for them, what she put them through. It just wasn't something you spoke about. It wasn't something Laura believed happened in 'normal' families and who would believe them anyhow?

She threw another glance toward the door as Miss Wright sighed. "Very well. There will be consequences if this happens again, Laura Evans." Her tone was harder now, but Laura didn't stop to ponder this as she pushed her chair back and threw her satchel over her shoulder, singing "Yes Miss" as she hurried to the exit.

"Laura." Miss Wright spoke, quieter now as Laura looked over her shoulder. "You know where I am if you change your mind.. If.. If you want to talk." The teacher smiled a warm and honest smile before she looked to the ground. Laura paused as she processed the genuine concern, the interest in her. From her teacher, of all people. She wasn't used to it and couldn't find a word for it, or a reply. She swallowed a lump in her throat that she was unsure for why it had formed and raced from the room, grabbing Paige's wrist, leading the way.

"Where in hell have you been!" She almost choked, her anger spilling over into the concern she had felt moments before.

"I.. I was in class?" Paige replied in a question rather than an answer. Laura spun around, glaring into her sisters beautiful blue eyes that were glazed in dishonesty, though her lips were twisted into a cheeky grin, not unusual for her.

"Ugh, we do not have time for this Paige Evans. You WILL tell me tonight."

Paige blinked, though it was obvious she would spill. They didn't keep secrets from one another. Their lives were fragile enough.

They neared the gates to the Primary School; the usual current of parents holding their child's hand passed them by, though there were backwards glances towards the grassed area. Laura raised a brow, hearing the whispered condemnations and tuts that could be dimly heard beneath chants of school children that had formed in a circle. A fight had broken out and she noticed Paige shudder. Laura felt the all too familiar knot twist in her stomach that could always be counted on as she walked in to face her 'punishments', despite this having nothing to do with her. Violence wasn't the answer and it bemused her why people went to such extremes.

Her thoughts were frozen as she stared unblinking at a lone satchel on the floor. A fawn shade, fraying at the edges, with a navy patch on the side where it had been repaired. Where she had repaired it.

She dropped her bag, not caring where it landed or what happened to it as she ran towards the circular crowd, pushing her way through the children that were annoyed at their view being disturbed or their concentration being distracted. It was now as if she had tunnel vision; her only focus on seeing the cause of the disruption. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach as her eyes fell on her baby brother, lying bloodied on the floor, attempting to shield the blows to his face that reigned relentlessly from a larger boy that was crouched over him.

Laura felt as if she were watching someone else rip the boy off of her brother. The boy looked confused until a smug look crept to his features. "Stupid bastard can't even talk. Can't even beat a word out of him!"

It took her a moment to realise that the menacing laughter was spilling from her own lips, which she cut of suddenly as her hands balled together into tight fists. "What. Did. You. Say?" Her teeth gritted together as she looked the boy over, her own features indefinable, until she reached Lucas. His little body wincing as he curled into Paige who was now comforting him as best as she could.

"What? You stupid as well? Must run in th-" But he didn't get a chance to finish his statement as Laura's fist collided with the corner of his mouth, knocking him off balance. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't good enough. Her blows didn't cease; it was like she wasn't in charge of her own body as her fists continued to pummel into the boy's face, forcing him to the floor; his blood stained her knuckles, but she didn't stop. She couldn't stop. He was screaming, but she heard nothing. He was becoming less defensive as the energy and consciousness was beaten out of him, but she didn't care. Who the hell did he think he was!

Hands pulled at her arms, dragging her away from the bloodied mess that was sprawled on the floor. Laura struggled against the hands until she realised they belonged to her siblings and she allowed them to lead her backward. She spat on the boy and smirked, speaking in a tone she didn't recognise. "Try it again, any of you try it, and you will fucking regret it."

The crowd had become more or less silent as the scene had unfolded before them, but Laura hadn't noticed. They weren't important to her. She shrugged the hands off her as she turned, wrapping her shaking arms around her brother and sister as she led them out of the school property.

She had done something she thought she would never do and she didn't feel bad about it. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't be her mother. But she wasn't the same, was she? The thoughts spun in her mind as she looked directly ahead; though one remained a constant.

Laura realised that she would go to any lengths to protect her brother and sister. Even if it meant she turned into the one person she despised more than anything.


	5. Somewhere Inbetween

Somewhere In-between

Chapter Four

Each day ebbed into the next, each week passing by as if on replay, though neither the sun nor the moon provided any sense of solace. A new torment flickered within her soul that contradicted who she had always believed herself to be. For days she had been attempting to rationalise her change in feelings that were the polar opposite to what she had always known and had developed to find some sort of weak comfort in. But could it in fact be true that we all have a demon inside of us? A monster that is always leering just beneath the surface, waiting patiently for the chance to rear its ugly head and send everything else into chaos. One thing out of all her thoughts and conclusions remained the same no matter how many times she came back to it; Laura was not prepared to be weak any more. Back on the day at the school, something inside of her had snapped; like a twig that appeared to be strong, yet had snapped effortlessly underfoot; except there had been no tell-tale signs that a change was imminent. No snaps had been heard, she had not become broken. Never would she become broken.

The summer holidays bore challenges of its own. As the final bell rang to signal the end of the school day, the end of the academic year, a joyous contagious mist seemed to weave throughout the children, illuminating their eyes, faces creased with laughter. It was a season that most looked forward to. The mist came to a halt when it reached Laura, though she was largely ignored anyhow. Avoided. Girls and boys alike all paved a way for her when they saw her coming, her presence always starting off a hum of whispers, dipped heads. Today was no different, despite the air of excitement. She walked with an almost arrogant stride, shoulders pulled back, head held high, eyes dead ahead showing no flicker of emotion. This wall was only brought down for her siblings, who both awaited her at their usual meeting spot by the gates. A genuine smile creased her lips in greeting as warmth slipped over her gaze. They exchanged the usual banter on the short walk home; how their days had been, what teachers were frustrating, what homework they had. For almost three months now, Jennifer had not laid a finger on her children; not since the day everything had changed for Laura and the fire that continued to rage within her had reached the surface on reaching 'home'.

Once again, Jennifer had been waiting; the tips of her fingers drumming dully on the kitchen table while her other hand was occupied by a stained glass filled with the poisonous liquid she chose to fuel herself with. Giving Paige and Lucas the usual nod, Laura remained in the hallway, though for the first time in her life she was not bracing herself for what was to come. She could barely describe the new feelings that had seemed to come alive, as if striking a match time and time again, but this time it had lit and the disappointment had ceased. Confusion and determination had taken its place, to the point that when her mother had called for her to come through to the kitchen, she hadn't heard her. Shaking her head to clear the unseen fog, Laura put to bed the little frail and frightened girl and awoke the bitter teenager before walking to stand in the doorway. A sickly sweet smile pulled at her lips, blankly glaring at the woman that had borne her as she cockily tossed her scatty school bag onto the table. The strap chinked against the glass, making the liquid waver within its glass prison. The look on Jennifer's face and the gasp that accompanied the shocked, disgusted expression drew a foreign smirk to fall past Laura's lips. She stood tall as her mother swiped the bag from off of the table whilst stumbling to her feet, not noticing before now how vulnerable this woman was in such a state.

"You idiotic mare! Who in God's name do you think you are!" Spit trailed down Jennifer's chin as she choked out her venom, wiping it away messily with the back of her sleeve before glancing back down to check that her beloved drink had not been wasted.

Laughter filled the room, and it took Laura a few moments to realise that it was encircling from her own throat. The metaphorical tables were beginning to turn and she quite liked the new side that was presenting itself more and more with each passing minute. Walking with new confidence, Laura came to stand in front of her mother, after taking slow deliberate steps, ensuring that her sinister glare never left the face of the one that had, until now, held the reigns of her life. Her heart was pounding erratically in her chest, but she barely noticed it; adrenaline forcing her every effortless move. Laura grabbed the collar of her mother's aging cardigan and pushed her back down into her seat at the same time as she reached for the glass, hurling its contents into Jennifer's face. The woman spluttered in her drunken state, the shock apparently absorbing all of her protests while the first trails of liquid her face had seen in a while trickled down her abandoned skin. Her mouth hung open revealing the decaying infestation that's stench mixed with the sweet aroma of gin, the jump evident under Laura's grasp as she slammed the empty glass back onto the table with such a force that cracks instantly meandered through the beaker that wasn't strong enough to withhold such pressure. The laughter had subsided and in its place came slow and steady breaths. Silence hung heavily between them, but she was far from uncomfortable. Laura took her time to survey her mother, who far from deserved such a title. The woman looked far beyond her years, quivering and frail.

"Pathetic." Laura thought out loud, the one word that seemed to sum up the woman perfectly, holding no hint of emotion in her tone. A catalogue of memories filtered through her mind that only infuriated her more, retching a blood curdling scream from the pits of her stomach.

Breathless.

Shaking.

Laura made an effort to regulate her breaths. In through the nose; out through the mouth; but the tremors in her hands did not cease. Slowly she opened her eyes. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she found herself to be stood in the middle of chaos. Her eyes darted around the kitchen at the splintered wood, broken glass and pieces of chinaware, crumbs and debris. Laura almost believed that there had been a bombing or an earthquake, until the logical part of her brain clicked into gear and made her realise that she wouldn't still be standing if that were the case. Her eyes finally settled upon a body that heaved gently with sobs that were out of sync with the movements.

She blinked, taking her time to re-examine the scene that she had only ever witnessed from the other view point before now, but never to the extremities that surrounded her now. After mentally checking herself over and concluding that the only injury to herself was a small cut to her hand (from where she had cracked the glass) and a sore knee, a satisfied childlike giggle danced past her lips. Biting at her lower lip could not spare the grin that grew.

Swiping up her bag on the way, Laura went into the pantry and glanced over the sparse shelves before deciding on some ham, cheese, bread and milk, all making their way into her satchel which she then slung casually over her shoulder. As she re-entered the kitchen, she took hold of the broom handle and dragged it over the mess that clattered lifelessly together until it reached Jennifer. Laura let go of the broom and crouched down as it fell to the floor.

"It's filthy in here, Mother. You should start cleaning before you attract vermin." Laura tutted before getting to her feet; turning her back on Jennifer, she left her in a broken heap on the floor; like she had been on countless occasions.

She took the stairs two at a time, avoiding the pile of unlaundered clothes that were strewn across the landing. Closing the bedroom door, she reached for their wooden chair that she propped and wedged under the handle as it occurred to her that the potential repercussions would most likely occur when they were asleep, at their most vulnerable. That night, the siblings enjoyed their feast and for once drifted off to sleep with full tummies.

Ever since that night, Laura had subconsciously been waiting for her mother's reaction to her blacked out rage. Every day when they returned home from school, Jennifer had either scuttled off into the lounge room or had already retired to her bedroom. It was like she wasn't even there at times and so Laura took control of the household; ensuring that her brother and sister received a decent meal from whatever scraps, odds and ends that she could throw together, and they were all clean, tidy and presentable. They laughed together, studied hard with their homework and played games, though the tense undercurrent remained, ensuring that Laura kept on her guard. She doubted that she could live any other way.

On returning back to the house, the three siblings entered the kitchen, abandoning their bags for the time being by the door. Paige and Lucas sat at the kitchen table awaiting their drinks, their squabbles amusing to any that could've seen them. Paige tinkering away about how she was right about something or another; and Lucas responding with raised then furrowed brows before rolling his eyes, still refusing to utter a word. A soft smile graced her lips as she began to pour water into three tall glasses that she had placed in a row on the counter top. It was a few seconds before she realised that Paige's banter had subsided. Laura turned around, looking between the two of them quizzically, who seemed to have noticed something on the table and were now in a silent debate between themselves. Paige reached out, but not in time as Lucas snatched what looked like a piece of note paper and shoved it into his pocket.

Laura carried the glasses of water over to the table and set one in front of each of her siblings before taking a seat herself as she sipped at her water. They didn't move. Breaking the annoying silence, Laura clicked her fingers a couple of times as if she were waking them from a trance.

"Wakey wakey you pair! What was that you were looking at hm?" She tried to hide the amused grin as her teasing gaze flickered between them, but they weren't biting.

"Lukey, gimme the paper?" She asked in a softly spoken tone, though his reply was a firm shake of the head.

Laura sighed as she placed her glass onto the table in front of her and twisted around in her chair so that she could look directly at her brother, her gaze shifting into a demanding stare that mirrored her tone. "Lucas. Now."

Lucas huffed dramatically, a way of him expressing his upmost contempt at being made to comply. He reached into his pocket and gave his eldest sister a look that she couldn't quite place. Was it pleading? Concerned? Angry? Laura didn't have the chance to determine the answer as he threw the paper ball in her direction and fled up to the sanctuary of their shared room.

"Weird.." She muttered, before turning her attention to the paper; her palms smoothed out the creases that revealed a text that instantly tied her stomach in knots, though she was careful to uphold the bravado of assurity in front of her sister, who had remained quiet, hands twisting together on her lap.

'Laura, darling~

Meet me at the lot behind the square, 4pm.

Do try not to be late.

Mom~'

The 'Square' was twenty minutes away.

She glanced at the clock.

It was 3:47pm.


End file.
